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Ode to Sadness and Indifference
Everything starts with the decision – to stay, to leave, to change or stand still. And I… I wanted to change… “Ieva, I think one of the turtles passed away! Can you come and have a look?” My mum furrows her eyebrows as she gently holds the turtle in her hands. “He was fine yesterday,…
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The day I abandoned my religion
Who was I before words? Before words shaped me, I lived in the wildness of emotions – untethered by meaning, unbound by definition. Who am I without words? Carefully crafted rationalizations and definitions justify the steps I take or serve as heavy blankets, shielding me from what’s outside and what’s within. Who will I be…
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Prelude to Farewell
You can’t rescue every stray cat you see on the street. However, why are there so many stray cats to begin with? I can’t sleep – once again. My inability to drift to rest means only one thing: I am scrolling the news again. My cheeks are wet. Here we go again. Nothing makes sense. …
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The Glass Bead
There are times in one’s life when everything seems a little bit too much. There was this bead inside of me; growing bigger and bigger by each passing day. It was burning me from inside out, and at that given time, all I could do was wonder while I grovelled in pain, with no hope…
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Kaleidoscopic Love
There is always someone somewhere discovering the other life, the other self, stepping off into uncharted territory. Yet, in the midst of knowing this, I also know that I am so small, so ordinary, and do have limited time on my hands to be able to envision the majority of the world. My view, like…
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That corner of isolation
I wish that after 14 days of self-imposed isolation, I would have something profound to say. I simply do not. It wasn’t that hard; at least the first half was not that hard. I mostly felt like a grizzly bear hyperventilating in a cave tucked away from everybody’s gaze. I was too familiar with…
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All about timing and missed trains,
I don’t know when exactly it was when I realised that the moment had passed and we missed our timing. I wonder, was it when the morning sun woke me up from my night slumber, or it happened when I was watching heavy rainfall disturb the stillness of the lake in front of me. I…
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Operation, Birthday and Unknown Future
Dreams by Cranberries are blasting through my headphones while I am sitting on the hospital bed, watching how yellow and red leaves are slowly dancing in the air before falling on the pavement. In 5 days, I am turning 26. It’s a birthday, which is so close by, yet feels so far away. I know…
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Hazy memories, my bruised knees and shards of porcelain
Lately, my hands been shaking quite a bit, so I was not surprised, catching myself silently observing how porcelain cup slipped through my fingers and crashed. ‘Oh here goes the green tea‘- I thought, completely ignoring chunks of porcelain scattered through the floor. I liked that cup. It was a gift of somebody I once…
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The dream, the white mots, carry on their fragile wings
A long time ago, I dreamt that I was standing in a cloud made of hundreds of white moths. It seemed they were desperately trying to reach the moon, yet they been misguided by the city lights. I could hear the thousands of small bell ringing, and they washed down the sound of little wings…
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To outrun infinity
There is nothing more beautiful in life than to feel the infinity of the moment in time. You just there. Nowhere else. Just now and here. And everything else melts away into the abyss. We are constantly in motion – that sometimes we outrun the infinity; we do not enable ourselves to wallow in it,…
accidents, actions, appreaciation, backpacking, belonging, blog, change, choices, choosing yourself, daring, decision, emotions, encounters, fairyofthenorth, friends, gowonder, happiness, lostandfound, love, meaning, moments, motivation, navigating, people, perspective, photography, reflection, reflections, soulsearching, spiritual, thoughts -
What became of the world If all I see is emerged in Teracotta
Every morning the same sun greets me. Every morning for a moment world stands still. And every morning I am one day older. There are days where the grass is very green, and the skies are very blue, there are days where everything emerges in the grey undertones. These days my mind wonders what is…
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